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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  November 24, 2015 11:37pm-12:37am CST

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[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- america ferrera, from nbc's "chicago med," actor oliver platt, comedian and author, judah friedlander, featuring the 8g band with brian chase. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. let's get to the news. donald trump told nbc news today that he has the world's greatest memory. though if that's true, why does he have to write his name on everything? [ laughter ] [ as trump ] "i'm pretty sure that's my helicopter. that's it."
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donald trump tweeted that the state is home of one of the worst presidential candidates in history, john kasich. though in reality, john kasich wasn't even the worst candidate in that sentence. [ laughter ] just a few hours after dr. ben carson claimed yesterday that he saw a newsreel of muslim-americans celebrating in the streets on 9/11, his campaign released a statement saying, "dr. carson does not stand by the statements that were reported today. he was hearing and thinking something different at the time." [ laughter ] and i think we actually have footage of what he was hearing and thinking. it's peanut butter jelly time peanut butter jelly time peanut butter jelly time [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so it's true. you saw muslims celebrating after 9/11? [ laughter ]
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in a joint press conference today with president francois hollande, president obama said that following the attacks in paris, we are all french.h. then he tried to light a cigarette, and michelle slapped it out of his hand. [ laughter ] [ as obama ] "worth a shot. worth a shot." ford just announced a recall nearly half a million cars because of potential issues with the fuel tank. apparently they discovered evidence that the fuel tanks might be contaminated with calvin pee. [ laughter ] i know, he's a loveable fella, but he's peed on a lot of fords. domino's announced this week a new physical button for customers in the u.k. that will automatically order pizza whenever pushed. i think we have a photo. [ laughter ] this is very exciting news, you guys. a rat in crown heights, brooklyn, yesterday, managed to take a selfie on its own after
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[ audience groans ] even more impressive -- he, "woke up like dis." a connecticut man who sued a hospital in 2013 after losing a testicle during his vasectomy was awarded $386,000 in damages. he would have sued for more, but he didn't have the ball. [ laughter and applause ] a food artist in england today finished a commissioned sculpture of the nativity scene made entirely out of cheddar cheese. that included a cheese crib, threrecheese wise men, and a cheese donkey. then on christmas eve, he'll add little baby "cheesus." [ laughter ] yeah. [ applause ]
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and you reacted correctly. aw. a seattle-based company that produces bacon-flavored food items has just released a line of bacon-scented underwear. [ audience groans ] it's the perfect christmas gift for that special someone who wants to be horribly maimed by a dog. [ laughter ] these are wonderful! [ growling ] [ laughter ] zimbabwe this weekend hosted its fourth annual mr. ugly pageant, or as we call them here, "presidential debates." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and finally, yesterday canadian performer doo doo the clown was praised for his bravery after saving two women who were violently confronted by a man in an alley. of course before confronting the man, he was just known as
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"the clown." [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight! [ cheers and applause ] that's the last joke about doo doo, i promise. from the new nbc comedy "supererore," america ferrera is back on the show! [ cheers and applause ] so excited to have her back. from nbc's "chicago med," oliver platt is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] a fantastic actor and a great guy. also, he's a comedian and he is an author, as well. his new book, "if the e indrops united" is available now. judah friedlander will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] looking forward to that. but before we move on, we talk about him a lot. and republican presidential front-runner d dald trump has come under fire thth week for repeating a series of false and racist claims about muslims and african- americans. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: okay.
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we begin on saturday when trump claimed falsely that he saw muslim-americans in new jersey celebrating on 9/11. that story has been universally debunked by fact-checkers and law enforcement officials. but even when he was confronted about the lie on george stephanopoulos, trump stood his ground. >> you know, the police say that didn't happen and all those rumors have been on the internet for some time. so, did you misspeak yesterday? >> it did happen, i saw it. >> you saw that with your own eyes? >> it was on television, i saw it. george, it did happen. >> police say it didn't happen. >> there were people that were cheering in the other side of new jersey. >> seth: so trump claims he saw this event that never happened on television. but let's remember, trump also said he met vladimir putin when they were on the same episododof "60 minutete even though they filmed their segments thousands of miles apart. [ light laughter ] so trump's understanding about how tv works is not 100% trustworthy. [ as trump ] "i know the dallas cowboys very well. just this weekend, they played a game in my living room." [ laughter ] "if f u don't believe me, , k my
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[ laughtht ] after universal criticism, trump again defended his claim at a rally in ohio last night by reading aloud a "washington post" article published a week after the september 11th attacks. >aw enforcement authohoties detained and questioned a number of people who were allegedly seen celebrating the attacks and holding tailgate-style -- tailgate. you know what that means? tailgate. that means football games, ohio state, thousands of people. [ laughter ] >> seth: but here's the problem with the "washington post" article trump is reading from, these allegations turned out to be completely unfounded and both reporters who wrote that story said this week they couldn't find a shred of evidence to support them. one reporter said, "i do not recall anyone saying there were thousands or even hundreds of people celebrating." and the other added, "i could never verify that report." but trump doesn't care about that. when confronted about his lies,
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he doubles down. and much like the kfc double down, each one i igetting harder to digest. [ laughter ] because "washington post" article or not, trump claimed to have seen these events with his own eyes. nbc's katy tur challenged him on that claim last night. here's her account of that interview. >> this is a 20-minute nversation, me askininlike a broken record, where did you see this video? are you sure you didn't conflate video you might have seen in gaza, of palestinians celebrating after the towers came down? he was adamant. no, he was not conflating the two. he says he has and i quote, "the world's best memory. and that everybody knows that." [ laughter ] >> seth: and i for one do believe trump has the world's best memory. how else could he remember a vocabulary of upwards of 100 words? [ laughter ] [ as trump ] "i know all the synonyms for big. there's 'huge,' 'very huge.' [ laughter ] 'huger.'" while questions still swirled about trump's 9/11 claims, he was also making news by
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retweeting a chart with blatantly racist and bogus crime statistics. the chart falsely claimed the percentage of whites killed by black is 81%. when, in fact, it's actually 15% according to the fbi. and i know from watching "dateline" that the remaining 85% of whites are killed by husbands with boats. [ laughter ] and my chart isn't even worse than trump's chart because the source of his was the "crime statistics bureau: san francisco." which it turns out is not even a real thing. [ light laughter ] it doesn't exist. in fact, "crime statistics the bureau of san francisco" is one of those names that sounds less like a government agency and more like a police drama on cbs. [ laughter ] so that's the first problem with the chart. the second problem is that it came originally from a twitter account that used nenenazi images and describededitler as, "the austrian chap with the little mustache." [ laughter ] which is of course the same way hitler describes himself on his tinder profile. [ laughter ] nein. [ laughter ]
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nein. [ cheers and applause ] so clearly, clearly trump should have known better. and he was confronted about the fake stats on fox news monday night. >> you tweeted out that whites killed by blacks -- these are statisiscs you picked up froro somewhere, at a rate of 81%. and that's totally wrong. now -- >> bill, i didn't tweet. i retweeted somebody that was supposedly an expert. >> yeah, but you don't wanna be -- >> and it was also a radio show. >> why do you want to be in that zone? >> well, hey, bill. bill, am i going to check every statistic? this came out of radio shows and everything else. >> oh, come on, radio shows? >> all it was, was a retweet. i didn't say -- excuse me. all it was is a retweet. >> seth: when your defense is you didn't tweet it, you retweeted it -- [ laughter ] you're beyond doubling down. now you're quadrupling down. the quadruple down of course is bacon, two kinds of cheese, fried chicken, and hair instead of bread.
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[ laughter ] but if you're waiting for trump to say he's sorry for anything, don't hold your breath. this august a hollywood reporter asked him the last thing he apologized for was, and he said it was too many years ago to remember. i have one of the great memories of all-time, but it was too long ago. [ laughter ] he probably forgot, because he has too many things to remember that didn't happen. [ laughter ] but what's scary is trump has crossed the threshold. threshold from fun, wild card candidate who said crazy things and made debates watchable, to someone spreading dangerous rhetoric. i mean, having trukp in this race has been like riding a tilt-a-whirl. at first, it's wee! and now it's i'm going to puke and my stomach is full of quadruple down. [ laughter and applause ] at this point, we have to hope the ride breaks down. is has been, "a closos look." [ cheers and appppuse ] we'll be right back with more "late night"!
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let's watch this. no, this. how about this? no, no, no. this is what we're gonna watch. yesssss! ohhh! ightht when it's your job to protect the world's greatest nation, it's your responsibility to solve the world's greatest challenges. this is why we search for the best and brightest. why we train for every eventuality on landd and water,
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we operate in a complex world with one simple mission. win. (vo) some call it giving back. we call it share the love. during our share the love event, get a new subaru, and we'll donatete250 to those in neeee bringing our total donations to over sixty-five million dollars. and bringing love where it's needed most.
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he^ i take pictures of sunrises, but with my back pain i couldn't sleep and get up in time. then i found aleve pm. aleve pm is the only one to combine a safe sleep aid plus the 12 hour pain relieving strength of aleve. i'm back.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody! give it up for "the 8g band"! [ cheers and applause ] also, while you're at it, sitting in on drums this week, from an amazing new york-based rock band, the "yeah yeah yeahs", brian chase is here. [ cheers and applause ] how w e you, brian? thanks for joining us. it has been great having you. now, this is really exciting. last year, i found my old video game system, the first video game system i owned, the "jorbus." you may have forgotten the
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"jorbus", but it was made by the, now out of business, department store, montgomery ward. let me show you gugu. you'll remember it once you see it. you remember the old jorbus. [ laughter ] now, this bad boy, this was just a trail blazer in the world of video games. and ever since i dug it out, i've been playing it nonstop. and a lot of the jorbus games, looking back, they were really ahead of theiririme. let's take a look at some of thememn a segment we're cacaing "old video games." [ cheers and applause ] all right. let's start with a classic. "jorbus" had a line of sports games, but they were a little different. the most popular "jorbus" sports gamemeas "nba jam 1952." it was a basketball l me that followed the rules of 1952 nba. now, this game is set before the shot clock was introduced. so it's just a bunch of white guys and no rush to score. [ laughter ] the whole goal was to hold on to the ball and not give it up to the other team. you could hit a to bounce pass and, like, b bo dribble to your teammate.
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but the thing about this game that was awesome, was there was a cheat code for it. so if you hit a, b, a, b, you transform into michael jordan. [ laughter ] and then you just double tap and dunk, and everyone's head explodes. [ cheers and applause ] so much fun. now, sometimes jorbus nails it. sometimes th call it a little short. this next game is jorbus' answer to the classic game "pong." it's called "ping." now "ping" is basically just "pong" without paddles. [ laughter ] so, the only you win is you go first, and then unplug the jorbus when you're ahead by one. [ laughter ] wasn't a winner. but this was fantastic. it's a game that never would be made today. it's called "smoking olympics", sponsored by phillip morris. now, this was a game created by the cigarette company in order to show kids that smoking is cool and g gat, and made you good at sporor. now, what you had to do was perform different tasks related to smoking for points. let's take a look at the first
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level. so this is really fun. this is a "marlboro 100 smoking dash", where you have to smoke cigarettes as fast as you can while running. alternate betwtwn hitting a and b to make your runner pull a bigger drara the more you smoke, the faster you go. and look, he won. that's and so much fun. ha ha ha ha! [ laughter ] but this level is even more fun. this is where you get to see how far you can flick a cigarette butt. [ laughter ] you hit a to flick the butt, make it go! there it i i smoking is fun and cool, and i still believe it thanks to my "jorbus." [ cheers and applause ] now, before i introduce this next game -- it was a different time, you guys. the next game is called "monster businins woman." it was a aame created by "jorbus" executives who realized that they didn't have a single game where the protagonist was a woman. now, unfortunately, this game was made in the mid '80s by men who viewed women in the workplace as a threat and i will admit their fears of working women came through in the game play.
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let's take a look. so in this game, you have to destroy buildings and eat innocent businessmen. [ laughter ] and the more men you eat, like the bigger you get. and you have to catch the birth control pills. [ laughter ] because if you miss one, you instantly become pregnant and you have to quit. and you get replaced. [ cheers and applause ] you get replaced by a guy who makes like twice as much as you. the next game we have is called "monkey business" and if that name makes it sound like fun -- it is not! [ laughter ] so in this game, you play a zoo nitor who has to clele up the nkey cage. you get a point for every dropping you catch in your bucket. and if you miss one, you lose. it's a lousy game. it's really not fun. [ laughter ] finally, we have a "jorbus" game that has not aged well at all. it's called, "bill cosby moror combatat [ laughter ] in this game, you fight bill cosby, and you go around
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new york pulling up kids' saggy pants. and if they curse, you shame them out of existence. [ laughter ] >> shooby-de-boop. [ laughter ] >> seth: and i do not support anything he has done! but it's a super fun g ge, you guys. give it up for jorbus! we'll be back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] how else do you think he gets around so fast? take the reins this holiday and get the mercedes-benz you've always wanted during the winter event.
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pc does what!? pc does 360 rotations. pc does what no pc has done before. does yours? what is this? that is my diary, for my feelings. i don't want your feelings skinny, i want a million dollars. my money is in the bank fool. i'm not a fool, i'm a smart lady with a lot of good plans. oh, you wanted a million dollars? what are you doing here? you're supposed to be in the getaway car. why don't we just go to old navy, they're giving away a million dollars on thanksgiving. a million dollars? someone in line when stores open on thanksgiving
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and everything's 50% off f ursday and friday! why would ey do that? let me just ask you a question, have you known about this the whole time? like, a fortnight. what is a fortnight? it's two weeks. what is wrong with you? why didn't you tell me this earlier? i thought we were gonna meet snoop. hi! what are you talking about? you know i just started spitting myself, love to throw your way. i'm sorry i... looks like it's your lucky day daddy long legs. all right, let's go to old navy. can i take some of these? where's my purse? we gotta get gas. hey there, tiny... what beer we drinkin'? i don't know boss... what about that redd's apple ale? you'u' a genius, tiny! this apple sauce the bee's knees. the cat's pajamas! hits ya right in the kisser! emm. redd's a0ple ale.
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i said i really can't stay baby it's cold outside i have to go away baby it's cold outside i really can't stay baby it's cold outside!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our first guest is a talented actress, whwhstars in the new nbc series, "superstore." a special sneak preview of&back to back episodes will air monday, november 30th at 10:00 pm, and the official series premiere will air on january 4th. let's take a look. >> honestly, i think that lady just has a crush on jonah. she's interested in him because he's cute, not because of his bad ideas. >> whoa, whoa, whoa. you think i'm cute? >> no! i do not think you're cute. i think you look like a person who is cute. >> do you really think that she's just attracted to him? >> no! >> yes.
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sense. i meme, i can't compete with these geisha features. he looks like a panda and a disney princess had a baby. [ laughter ] >> seth: please welcome back to the show, america ferrera! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i'm so happy to have you here! >> thank you. >> seth: i'm so excited about this sho and very excited to hear this. you wrapped your first season, and you and the cast all went to vegas together. and it makes me very happy when i know that casts get along well enough they actually take a trip like that together. >> we did. we took a trip. we do get along. but i just always feel like vegas is the wrong choice? >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> just in general. >> seth: sure. >> but we had a good time. there was too much of everything. >> seth: that's basically what vegas sells itsese as. yeah. >> right?
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david copperfield's magic show. >> seth: i've been to david copperfield's magic show. >> did he call you up on stage? >> seth: no, he didn't. >> okay. >> seth: did you go on stage? >> i got called up on stage. and it was terrifying. like i was terrified. it's not fun to all of a sudden be in the middle of a magic show. >> setet yeah. >> and my cast thougug i was in on it, and i wasn't.t. and that was -- >> seth: what did you -- because his show is amazing. >> it's amazing! >> seth: i will say, i went thinking, oh, i don't think i can be impressed by magic, and i left -- i basically -- we went to the magic show and i was with a bunch of people and we were like let's go out and d rty. and i basically said, i have to like, sit and ththk for an hour. [ laughter ] because the rules of nature and physics as i once thought them to be true, i now know to be false. >> it's true. >> seth: because we live in a world of warlocks and magicians. >> right. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what did you do on stage? what was the trick? >> oh, he like, asked me these questions about myself and then had me wriri down a celebrity's name and then magically pulled out a poster with my answers to the questions shaped as the celebrity i wrote down. >> seth: oh, my goodness. was it brad pitt? >> no.
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>> seth: eh, worth a shot. [ laughter ] >> you are not magic. >> seth: well i was -- that's how you -- you can only know if you're magic if you try. [ laughter ] >> brad pitt's a g gd choice. night clubs or anything? >> yeah. we did. we -- we, like -- while we're high on magic. >> seth: yes. so you're on that magic high, sure. >> yeah. and we were like let's go eat. and then, like, this stretch humvee limo pulled up. >> seth: okay. >> and we were just going to get in cabs. but then, like, you're drunk and there's a humvee limo. and you're like, that's a good idea. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and they're like, it's fine! it's only ten bucks a head. but then you take, like, a five-minute ride and you pay $200 for -- but the length of the ride was the length of "hotline bling." and we danced to that. >>eth: that's cool. >> so weaid $200 to dance to, "hotline bling" in the limo. >> seth: there you go. >> and it was worth it. >> seth: yeah. i will say this. [ laughter ]
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things in las vegas than that. so that is a win. thth is fully a win. >> and i apologize to the environment. but when you're drunk, you don't make the best decisions. >> seth: no, you don't. yeah. and nothing is worse than when you're drunk with one friend and you're like, "you guys, this is really bad for the environment." stop it! we just saw magic! the world is fine! [ laughter ] tell us about the premise of this show. >> so "superstore" is about a group of eloyees who work at a big box walmart-like store. and the shenanigans they get into, and their relationships. and it's a lot of fun. >> seth: now, you actually shot some -- to promote the show, you shot fake commercials sort of promoting this super store. >> yes. >> seth: s se people thought they were real? this how it went down? >> yeah, so people were tweeting me, like, "oh, no, america is doing walmart commercials!" [ laughter ] and this one girl is like, "oh, thank god it's a show, i was super concerned for her career." [ laughter ] and i was like genuinely touched by that. i was like genuiuily touched by
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the concern. and i was like, thank you for your concern, i'm fine. but also, like, i'm pretty sure a walmart national ad would pay really well. >> seth: yeah, that'd be a really good thing. [ laughter ] like we're like -- i'm like, i wish i could get a break like that. >> i know. >> seth: yououlso -- the costumes -- because, again -- like ugly betty, you got to wear like the nicest clothes. your character looked a little crazy, but it was all like designer stuff. >> head to toe designer. >> seth: this is as far away as you can get, pretty much. [ laughter ] do you like rocking the vest? >> i like rocking the vest. the last thing i want to think about when i'm acting or working is what i'm wearing. >> seth: yeah. >> so like jeans, a t-shirt, vest, i'm all about it. the but the vest like -- wherever i am if i'm wearing that vest, people ask me where things are. people think i work wherever i am if i'm in that vest. >> seth: because you shoot it in an actual existing store. >> well we shot the pipit in like a functioning k-mart, so the cast would always be in their vests and customers were
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coming in and out, and they would be like, excuse me, where's this. and i'm like, i don't work here. and they're like, sure you don't. [ laughter ] and then by the end it was like day six, i'm like the toilet paper is on aisle four. i knew it was there, so i just -- >> seth: it's easier, yeah. >> stop explaining myself. >> seth: i guess you can't really be mad at somebody if they're like, hey, where is something. and you're like, hey, i don't work here, i'm just a person wearing the vest of the store. can't i just be a fan of vests with name tags? >> exactly. >> seth: so this is very interesting to me. and i want y y to confirm if it's true or not. that when you were young, you were growing up and you were super -- you were into the idea of judaism and maybe converting to judaism. is this true? >> i was. not for very noble reasons. >> seth: okay gotcha. >> i grew up in a very highly jewish-populated neighborhood. and every boy i i d a crush on was jewish. seth: right. >> and i heard they only married jewish girls. >> seth: i see. >> and i also wanted a bat mitzvah. >> seth: gotcha. [ laughter ]
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i had a lot of reasons. and so every time i would go to a bar or bat mitzvah, i would look for the pamphlets like, "are you interested in converting?" but they're e ke -- they're not around. >> seth: no. [ laughter ] like, funny enough. >> seth: yeah, they're not really pushing it, the jewish people. >> they're not recruiting often. >> seth: they're really not. >> i was all about it. >> seth: there's never jewish people showing up at your door like we would love to talk to you about judaism. a lot of jehovah's s tness but not jews. >> seth:o you didn't in the end convert? >> i did not convert in the end. no. i married a nonjew and it's working out. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] that's great. because my whole life, everybody assumed i was jewish, which i'm not. and i married a jewish woman. and so now, like -- that's basically how you convert without doing anything. >> yeah. [ lilit laughter ] >> seth: because was saying to my wife, is it weird that i'm not jewish and she is like, "you're jewish now. [ laughter ] this is enough. nobody thinks you're not jewish anymore. you might as well stop telling them that." [ laughter ] thank you very much for coming back on the show. >> of course! >> seth: i can't wait to see "superstore."
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[ cheers and applause ] amamica ferrera, everybobo. check a special sneak prpriew of "superstore" monday, november 30th on nbc. we'll be right back with oliver platt [ cheers and applause ] i'm ginger breadington with your 10 day deal forecast. every day for ten days, expect new deals with historic low prices across target and hey! ginger! yes, ken? great forecast! are coffee makers on sale? yes! yes they will be... ginger! what about cameras? oh yeah, yeah. cameras-- ginger! how about christmas lights? yeah! lights, cameras, it's all in on the action.
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(nature sounds) she can rage, and roar, and crack, and storm. but mother nature can't stop us. the new 2016 ford explorer.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late nighf," everybody! our next guest is an emmy-nominated actor who has been in over 50 movies and 20 tv shows. he is the narrator in "pilgrims: the american experience" which airs tonight on pbs. and one of the stars of the nbc series "chicago med." new episod air tuesday nights at 9:00 p.m.
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>> would you mind terribly if we were to borrow this so we can contact your loved ones? >> if it won't take you too long. >> we won't be. be right back. thank you. it didn't occur to you she might have dementia? this name mean abything to you? connie francis? >> should it have? >> oh, i'm so damn old. just call her contacts. >> seth: please welcome to the show, oliver platt! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you? >> i'm so happy to be here, seth meyers. >> seth: it's alalys so nice to see e u and i feel like i i e you -- the context in which i often see you is one of my favorite contexts. it makes me feel like i love new york city. or one of the reasons i love new york city. is i will often see you riding
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your bike around. and there have been times where we have said hello when you're on your bike. and i thought only in new york city do you see oliver platt on a bicycle. >> and of cocose -- and i think exactly the same thing. i'm riding by and i go, hey only in new york city do you see seth meyers when you're on your bicycle. >> seth: yes! [ laughter ] now, don't take this the wrong way. i kind of thought -- my memory was you have sort of a crappy bike. [ light laughter ] >> this is really -- i know a couple people who work on your show. they tipped d off to this. >> seth: okay. i'm sorry you heard it that way. >> i've got a couple questions -- first of all, i have some statements. first a rhetorical question. this is how you treat your guests? >> seth: mm-hmm. [ laughter ] >> number two, my bikes rock. my bikes are -- even the crappy ones are super sexy and perfect for me. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >nd the third thing, this is sort of more importantntn the grand scheme of things. what makes seth the groovy bike decider? [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. no, that's fair. >> you know? what would you -- what would you
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have -- would you want me to get some chopper bars and, like, a wavy pole with a stuffedednimal imimled on it? >> seth: i know. now that you say these things, i feel bad. but i do want to point out what i saw. i an, that -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> come on. that's right, that's right. >> seth: i guess not that. like, that's what i was looking for. >> i have taken -- first of all, this is a dutch h rgo bike. >> seth: which is well made. the dutch make the best bikes on earth. >> they make the best bikes on earth. this is called the transporter, all right? >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] >> and it's, you know, heavily reinforced to transport my stately -- countenance. [ laughter ] but also, this is -- i put a stereo receiver from best buy in this bike and transported it back home. [ light laughter ] >> seth: wow. the only thing that would have made me think this is crappier is if you had a sound system in it. [ laughter ] >> next. >> seth: next. so this is exciting. you're working on the show, "chicago med." you were talking about how much you love new york.
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you have to now film in chicago. you have not moved to chicago. >> no, commuting. >> seth: commuting. >> commuting. >> seth: but you were about to go through -- because i've lived in chicago. you're about to go through your first chicago winter. do you know what you're up for? >> you know, it's been this weird sort of warm fall. and i actually love the winter. and so -- i hear these stories and i talk to the lovely local chicagoans and i'm like, dude, bring it on. you know, where is the winter and when i do that, they sort of get this far-away look. [ laughter ] >> seth: yup. >> and they sort of look away and then they walk away mumbling. you know? [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> so i'm a little n nvous, but i really -- my -- i'i'-- bring it on. bring it on. >> seth: well, saying bring on the winner of chicago is like saying bring on the famine. it's not a thing that ever goes well. [ laughter ] >> we should check in a few months. >> seth: yeah. >> you know. >> seth: i remember in college -- because it's the lake. you don't understand how -- the wind off the lake. >> right, right. >> seth: i would walk out of my dorm room in college and i would feel likikmy testicles would
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jump out and grab the doorjambs, like keep me -- from leaving. [ laughter ] they would be like, think twice about this. [ laughter ] that's what you're up for. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's really -- yeah. can i -- should i talk to the wardrobe department about that? [ laughter ] >> seth: that's a good thing to talk about. st like, have some g ge. >> or -- yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: you have obviously been in many films and television shows, gotten to work with great people. i want to ask about "postcards from the edge." you got to work with both mike nichols and speaking of legends, meryl streep. how was that experience? >> it was actually a a extraordinary experience, but maybe not perhaps in the way you would imagine. i was very fortunate to work with the late, great mike nichols very early in my career. and i had done a movie with him, a little part in a movie called "working girl." >> seth: uh-huh. >> and i didn't know any b bter so i wouou run my mouth when t t camera w w on and mike respondnd to that in that scenario. you know? and then he asked me to do this
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and in this movie i got to do the scene with meryl streep, "postcards from the edge." and i was like, yeah, let's go. but i will tell you, this is during a period when i was -- intense courtship with a gorgeous, sexy womom who would later become my wife. seth: oh, well done. >> and we were just hanging out all of the time. and i was supposed to fly that afternoon. and i was likewe're having a good time in the apartment. and so i flew very late that night, and i forgot about the time change. and i got in at like 2:00 in the morning and it was like literally no sleep. and much more importantly, i didn't really look too hard at the scene. >> seth: oh, no. >> on the plane, you know what i mean? and that was partially -- it was because of, like, oh, it's me and mike. it's like nichols and me and holly. >> seth: yeah, improv! yes! >> jazzy. yeah. and also because maybe i was romantically distracted. >> seth: sure. >> mainly because i was a freaking idiot. >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] >> so show up on the set, and, you know, haven't really slept a whole lot, but who cares, me and mike. and start shooting, and, you
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know, one, maybe two takes, the script supervisor comes up, and she goes, "um, oliver, could you, um -- mike would like you to stick to the script." and i was like, really? she's like, "yes, so would carrie fisher, the writer who is behind the monitor with mike. she would like you to say the words that she wrote." [ light laughter ] it was just one of -- one of those moments when, like, everything went to poo. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> you know? >> seth: sure. >> and i totally seized up. you know like the prism shifts and all of a suddedeyou -- you know. and like the next take was like action and i was like -- [ mumbling ] [ laughter ] they let that happen for another take and then they called lunch, mercifully. >> seth: right. >> and let me tell you, seth. it was not lunch time. [ laughter ] it was like, you know -- and i was -- you know, i basically -- i did not go to lunch, right?? i sort of wandered off in this zombie-loser trance, looking for a place literally to hide. and also to sort of collect myself. and i had to -- the pages with
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and i -- it was a wonderful old warner bros. lot. and i sort of wandered back and i found this wonderful -- this -- sort of hid behind some scenery and sat down on an old prop. probably literally like a dilapidated chariot from "ben hur." and i was thinking, "well, that was a pretty short career you had," you know? >> seth: yeah. >> i literally had -- just humiliated myself in front of not just my idol, but the world's greatest actress. probably the greatest direreor who o er lived, and princece leia. >> seth: yeah. >> right. [ laughter ] and princess-freaking-leia! >> seth: yeah. that's not -- that's a hat-trick of people. >> that's a very efficient meltdown, right? >> seth: yeah. >> and i was -- you know, just -- my hands were shaking i was trying to learn these lines. and all of a sudden, you k kw, i felthese two hands on my shoulders. start to massage me. and i will tell you, on a good day, on a normal day, i'm not like an anonymous back rub guy. >> seth: sure.
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[ light laughter ] >> but it's a lovely thought, but introduce yourself, you know? >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> bututt this moment, it was just like -- oh. it was what i needed. then this disembodied voice. "hey, you know what's so great about making movies? it's like we should be in little pieces and we do it over and over again, and that's what's fun about it. and film is cheap. and we've got a lot of it." it was meryl-freakakg-streep. >> seth: wow. >> she had like, followed me. you know, this loser day player who didn't know his lines. she would skip lunch, right, if that's what they were -- >> seth: right, exactly. >> and she had followed me. >> seth: had breakfast half an hour ago. [ laughter ] >> yeah. but you all might be big meryl streep fans. >> seth: sure. >> and then she toto me back to her trailer and we g g really stoned. [ ughter ] >> seth: oh, that's good. >> no, no. not really. no. [ laughter and applause ] no, we were back at her trailer and went over the scene. and it was all fine. >> seth: yeah.
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>> but, come on. you know, it's like little -- meryl, give me a break. >> seth: i will say if you would have screwed up again, she would have found you and just slowly choked the life out of you. >> probably. [ laughterer >> seth: she gave you one chance and i'm glad you came through. that's fantastic. thank you so much for being here. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> seth: always a pleasure to see you. >> thank you. >> seth: oliver platt, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "chicago med" tuesday nights at nine on nbc. we'll be right back with
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night." our next guest is a very funny comedian who you know as frank in "30 rock." he is the author of the new book "if the raindropopunited," which is in bookstores now. please welcome to the show,
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>> seth: thank you so much for being here! >> it's great to be here. >> seth: how have you been? what have you been up to? >> you know i'm a little tired. i just finished binge watching all 35 seasons of c-span on netflix. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, wow, that's a lot of hours. >> season 20 is really good. >> s sh: that is the best. everybody says that's the best. >> but you've got to start at the beginning. yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: you got to start at the beginning. i feel like usually when comedians write books, it's -- you know, they write about their lives. they'll tell funny show biz stories. you went a different way. what made you write this kind of book? >eah, this is a book of did. and i, you know, i always did a my mom was an artist, so she
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kind of passed that on to me. and my dad sort of taught me to always questioned authority. so those are two kind of big things that kind of came into this book. and i kind of -- i went off and on with doing art. my mom had a potter's wheel when i was a kid. and i didianimation, starting g eighth grade, and did even did it up until my early 20s a little bit. but i started stand-up at 19. and then, you know, late 20s, i started doing a lot of acting. you kind of get busy. you kind of stop drawing. and then when "30 rock" ended, i made a decision to just hit the road, tour just doing stand-up, constantly because i was still doing stand-up when doing "30 rock," but i couldn't go on the road. >> seth: not the same amount, of course. >> yeah, we were filming most of the time. and with touring, there's a lot of sleep deprivation because you've got to get up early to travel. and what people don't tell you when you become a comedian is that you have to do local, rning radio and tv shows at 6:00 in the morning to pronote your shows that are at lik 10:00 that night. so it's constant sleep
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6:00 a.m. and 10:00 at night. >> yeah, so i started drawing again just to sort of pass the time. >> seth: i want to go through some of the drawings. 'cause i feel this is the best way to explain this book to people. >> sure, yeaea >> s sh: this is about triangles. explain these ere. >> so at the top, you have a scene triangle. and that's kind of like, the nerd, the outcast of the triangle world, you know? each side is a different length. >> seth: yeah. >> and then on the bottom, you have what looks like, kind of lili, the perfect triangle, but you realize when yououead it, it's actually the same triangle, but it's had corrective surgery at the "isosceles beautification institute." [ laughter ] >> seth: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] >> so the message there is you love yourself. you don't have to spend all this effort. >> seth: so shapes is a big part, a big theme in this book. >> some of them, yeah. >> seth: because next we have ---- this is a circle with arthritis. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: be honest. you didn't go to art school? >> what's that? >> seth: you did not go to art
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school? >> some people call these drawings, like, the style is "simple" or "naive." i prefer the term, "perfect." >> seth: perfect? [ laughter ] >> b b yeah, you know how hollywood, there is sexism, ageism, racism in hollywood? even in the world of fonts. like "helvetica" is very ageist. you never see an older o, or an older, like, zero in there. but here is one that's obviously can still work. >> seth: so this is really about ageism. >> yeah, it's about ageism. -- in helvetica. [ laughter ] >> seth: explain this pencil. i don't -- who would use this this pencil? >> you're a great writer. you would not use this. but this is a pencil for someone who, you know, doesn't have anything to say, but still makes a lot of mistakes. >> seth: there you go. [ laughter and applause ] this -- i'm very happy about this because you have a plan for what trees should do in the winter. >> yeah. well, you know, i like trees. >> seth: sure, i think you're not alone. [ laughter ]
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>> yeah, but, you know, they're kind of dumb. >> seth: yeah. don't get me started. [ laughter ] >> they're just doing everything wrong. so i have a new strategy for trees, which is -- >> seth: new tree strategy. keep your leaves on in the winter when it gets cold, you know? [ laughter ] that will keep you warm. >> seth: keep you warm. because you see all these cold-ass trees in the winter, and you're saying, "you're the one who threw your coat away." [ laughter ] >> like i said, they're nice, but they're stupid, you know? [ laughter ] so, here's another one. >> seth: well this goes both ways. thisiss your summer tree strategy. >> take your leaves off in the summer. it's hot outside. [ laughter ] enjoy the sun. >> seth: why are you doing the opposite way that we do it? >> trees have been doing it wrong for decades now. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's been at least three decades, right? [ laughter ] i can't remember when trees were invented. > would say 30, 35 years, you knkn? [ laughter ] >> seth: i feel like they have been around almost my whole life. >> pretty much. >> seth: explained gentrified rubik's cube.
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[ laughter and applause ] >> seth: that's -- i will say, i know everybody has their issue with gentrification. the great thing ababt this is it's always done. you never have to solve this. >> yeah, it's an easy cube. [ laughter ] you know, gentrifiers sometimes lead an easy life, you know, so. >> seth: congratulations so much on the book, and thank you so much for being here. >> thanks for having me here, man. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: always a pleasure to see you. jonah friedlander, everybody! "if the raindrops united" is available now. we'll be right back.
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